i never seem to figure out why whatever you did to me that hurt me so bad keeps replaying in the back of my head as if it were those nightmare scenes in horror movies but its oddly strange that when i'm with you i seem to forget that. every single word that came out of your mouth that caused me pain echoes in my head, over and over. the scary part is that it only does it when i'm over thinking. i mean ya i've moved on but these awful memories of you lingers and just won't go away. i forgave you but i can never forget. that's even more disheartening because it's like why are we even friends, right? what's the purpose? do i expect something out of it? is that it? do you? until now, i haven't got your answers to why you contacted me back. "what do you want" is a question i've been wanting to ask you so bad, but the fact that you don't take things seriously is why i don't bother. i just let things be. i go with the flow hoping that this "friendship-relationship" thing might and just might lead to something. my conscience keeps reminding me that one day it's gonna end and that i just gotta prepare for the worst because it has happened before. people leave. that's just how the stigma of relationships work.
